Strolling can be hazardous to your baby’s health. James Channing Shaw
All summer in my elm and mapled neighborhood, ten minutes walk from central Toronto, scores of little white babies in strollers are pushed around all day by scores of little Filipino nannies. I rarely see anybody that resembles a mom or dad behind those oversized wheels. The parents must be hard at work, or yoga. I’ve witnessed stroller gridlock. Someone is going to get hurt.
So what is the reasoning behind baby-strolling? Is it about baby getting outside, a constitutional, or is nanny stepping out for emergency milk rations and can’t leave junior home alone?
Schlepping junior I understand. The morning constitutional makes zero sense. We’re talking infants here. Air quality is better inside than out these days, so giving the kid 'fresh' air has no great health advantage. Carbon monoxide levels on my street are probably toxic. And how healthy is being in a stroller wrapped entirely in plastic in the rain? I wonder what an infant gets from lying flat on its back, bumping along under leaden skies anyway.
So it must be about nanny, not pudge-face. If mom and dad are the ones behind the stroller, maybe it's to show off their parenting chops to the neighbors. I admit it's a nice look: mom, dad, blackberry, and baby.
But the hazards of strolling on my street could easily outstrip the benefits. The fight for right-of-way gets vicious. SUVs jump right up on the sidewalk. I feel relieved when somebody slows down at a stop sign. The city's budget deficit would disappear if a few patrol cars snagged the offenders. It is only a matter of time before a stroller gets taken out.
But we’re not the only ones with stroller derby. Where I currently live in Manhattan, nannies and mothers stroll off to the side, blindly two-abreast down 5th Avenue, their free hand texting or nursing a grande-chai-latte. It drives the poor merger and acquisition guys into the street.
But designers are on top of the problem. I’ve seen the new strollers with cup holders and single steering sticks like postman buggies. Rumor has it that next year’s models have air bags and e-movies on built-in screens.
