I'm REPUBLICAN: Ode to the Odious

 

 

I’m Republican, don’t tell me what to do

I’m Republican, I don’t wear a mask.

I’m Republican, I carry if I wanna.

I’m Republican, I’m against all tax.

I’m Republican, gimme money

More money, more money

I want more money

Life is money

Money is Life

I’m Republican, I don’t buckle up

No one tells me what to do

I don’t scoop poop

I drive a pickup (and a golf cart)

And ride right up your ass on the freeway

Don’t tell me what to do

No taxes

Want more money

Want no regulations

I like to burn fuel

Go as fast as I want

Break the rules when I want

Want, want, want it now

I don’t slow for pedestrians

Throw lit butts out the window

I’m white, so

Don’t want immigrants

Even though they just picked my apples for almost nothing

I’m a Republican

What I care most about (after money) is hating Democrats 

And non-white people, except athletes maybe

I know what I want, I know what’s right

Don’t need to weigh both sides, there’s only one right

Global Warming, don’t buy it

Gun control, don’t trust it

Abortion, don't need it

Infrastructure, don't use it

And lock her up while you’re at it

Don’t tell the truth if it doesn’t fit my scheme

Oops, I wasn’t s'pposed to say this

Cause I’m a devout believer in Jeesus Christ

Claim to go to church, get saved every week

Family values, honesty, I’m so pious

But don’t raise my taxes

Do not raise my taxes

Pussy grabber, who cares?

Tax evader, who cares?

Prostitute user and payer-offer, who cares?

Dishonest, who cares?

Dishonest Liar, who cares? 

Dishonest liar and cheater, who cares?

Don’t care about Covid, who cares?

But really all I want, want, want

Is no taxes

And more money

I’m Republican